ALIVE but DEAD

Just because they say education is important for the girl child as well. Uwa as I fondly call my mother, made sure I went to school. Not like I didn’t enjoy school. I enjoyed every bit, the classes, my friends and life at the boarding school. Uwa insisted I stayed at the boarding school, in order to prevent thirsty men from lusting after me and to avoid distraction. Uwa was the strict kind, she believed strongly in formal education even though she didn’t have much of an education. She always lamented about how she really craved to be educated but her father didn’t have the means. She was determined all her children will be fully educated; she worked hard day and night to ensure that. I was fortunately and unfortunately the only child; lesser expenses on Uwa though I wanted a sister or brother badly.

School friends made up for my lack of a sister, we treated ourselves like sisters. There were many nights of fights, and days of malice but at the end we always forgave ourselves and continued the friendship. I and Hauwa my bunkmate and best friend had just finished one of our usual quarrels. “Good night!” I spat angrily. “Snitch!” I cursed silently. She ignored and dozed off. Hauwa is the type that sleeps once she’s on something comfortable. We often teased her about it.

At exactly 10.00pm, I heard the call of nature, this time the sounds directed me to the rest room. I took my little lamp and tiptoed to the toilet. It was lights out already. Most students were already asleep, some were reading with their lamps, and also being alert in other not to be caught by the house Mistress. Mrs Matthews was a strict dark in complexion woman, with tribal marks resting at the corners of her mouth. She always wore a stern look making us dread her. As I found my way to the toilet, I saw figures. Thought it was probably Musa the gate man, so I quickly went to ease myself. As I went back to my room, the figures transformed into whispers, I got really scared. Not just a whisper, whispers. They were already many, entering rooms. What is happening? Where's Mrs Matthews or Musa? Before I could figure out an answer, they were already on my floor. I wanted to scream for help; before I could even start I felt a hand over my mouth. Amidst all these chaos, Hauwa didn’t even stir. One of the bad men had to drag her on the floor. Where are they taking us to? I heard Fatia my roommate murmur. How did they enter? I thought. With all Musa’s bragging that he had a Bsc in security ...whatever he called it. They ravaged all the rooms in my block and carried us away. Our cries were welcomed with slaps as they carted us away like rams and cows. I saw Musa at the security post, lying in his cold blood. Fear gripped me, is this how I will end? The tears came forth hurriedly.

 I thought of Uwa and the sacrifices she made for me. I always dreamt of being a great writer and making millions from writing books so I can repay her and make her happy. Will I ever see Uwa, my jewel? All these thoughts brought forth tears. The journey was a long one. I woke up and felt something salty in my mouth, my tears. “Where are we?” I asked Hauwa. She didn’t sleep all night, she cried and cried praying they don’t kill us like they killed Musa. “I don’t know, but I hope they don’t kill us”. “What do these men want from us?” “Do they want to marry us?” I waved that ridiculous thought away. We were too many for these men.

I thought of my mother again. How would she react upon hearing her one and only daughter is missing. Imaginations of her wailing brought tears to my eyes. Her desires and dreams shattered in one night? My dreams of being a great writer also shattered. This place looks far away from home, thoughts of an escape clouded my mind. What if they caught me and slaughtered me like they slaughtered Musa? Images of Musa lying in his cold blood flashed. Bad idea!. For how long are they going to keep us here?

Seconds rolled into minutes, to hours, to days and months. It is 100 days now and I’m still here. Alive but dead. Still hoping someone would just come and take me back to my mother. I miss my Uwa. I cry everyday when I think of her. I miss school. I wake up every morning  praying and hoping someone comes to rescue us. I live everyday in fear of tomorrow. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. I hate this place, I miss school, I miss life, I miss happiness and worse of all I miss being free.